Spongebob and the Sea Justice Warriors
by RyuuRanger
Summary: One day, Spongebob decides to roam the internet out of boredom, until he finds something that he shouldn't have...


I do not own Spongebob Squarepants.

"Okay, Okay!" Spongebob was at the computer, a grin on his face. "Let's see what Mr. Computer has to say today!" He moved the mouse cursor to a link called, "Tumbubblr".

"Hmmm…" The sponge licked his lips as he looked at the various things on the site; the most prominent was something called "SJW".

"What's SJW mean?" Spongebob scratched his head and clicked on the link.

Suddenly, an alarm went off as a loud crash was heard downstairs.

"MEOW!"

"Gary!" Spongebob ran down the steps, concerned for his snail friend. He then stopped in his tracks at what he saw. "Oh, my…"

There were fish wearing armor and holding swords and shields that had "SJW" on them.

"Um, who are you-"

"SILENCE, KNAVE!" One of the knights bellowed in a deep voice. "WE ARE THE SEA JUSTICE WARRIORS, AND WE ARE HERE TO PUNISH THOSE THAT WRONG THE INNOCENT!"

"What are you-"

"AND LOOK AT WHAT WE SEE BEFORE US! A SNAIL BEING OPRESSED BY ITS MASTER! GADZOOKS!"

"But he's not-"

"THOU ART A LIAR! A LIAR AND AN EXPOLITER! THOU SHALT NOT GET AWAY WITH THIS GREIVIOUS CRIME!" The knight boomed as he grabbed Gary from Spongebob's arms.

"GARY! NO!" Spongebob ran towards to take back his snail, but two other SJWs grabbed him by the arms, restraining him. "LET ME GO!"

"THOU SHALL COME WITH US TO BE LECTURED ON UPON YOUR DECADENT BEHAVIOR! AWAY!" The SJWs headed out of the house, carrying the poor sponge and snail along with them.

Later…

Squidward let out a yawn as he sipped from his mug, enjoying the taste of his gourmet coffee. "This is some good ol' joe." He let out a blissful sigh. "This possibly can't get any better."

"HALT!"

Squidward's bedroom door was kicked open as Spongebob stormed in, wearing armor. "WHERE IS THINE CHASTITY, SQUID?!"

"SPONGEBOB?!" Squidward yelped as he saw the sponge brandish a mace threateningly.

"I ASKETH THOU AGAIN! WHERE IS THINE CHASTITY?!" Spongebob ran towards the hapless squid in a fury.

Squidward screamed as he jumped out the window and landed hard on his side, groaning in pain.

"YE CANNOT RUN FROM ME!" Spongebob's voice rang out from the house as loud footfalls could be heard. Squidward tried to crawl away from his house as fast as he could, but his injuries made it tough to do so.

"HELP! HELP ME! SPONGEBOB'S GONE MAD!" Squidward screeched at the top of his lungs.

"SLIENCE, THOU KNAVE!" Spongebob leapt out from the front door and onto the poor squid, causing him to scream in pain. "I WILL SEE JUSTICE DONE UPON THY CARCASS!" He raised his mace and swung it down on his face.

"So, babe. I was thinking about taking you to that amazing diner in New Kelp City…" A male fish was talking to a pretty goldfish in Bikini Bottom Park, trying to persuade her into a date. "They have these burgers to die for, you know?"

The goldfish giggled as she placed an arm onto the male fish. "Oh, honey, that sounds delightful!"

"Yeah, I know, right? I- What the shell?!"

"BARBARIAN! UNHAND THAT FAIR MAIDEN!" Spongebob pointed his mace at the couple, a glare on his face as he stalked towards them.

"Dude, what are you doing? I'm trying to-"

THWACK!

"THOU ART JUDGED AND THOU WILT BE WOOING INNOCENT MAIDENS NO MORE!" Spongebob then rushed off, leaving the crying goldfish to panic over her boyfriend's fallen form.

"WE ARE THE MIGHTY SJW! THE WARRIORS OF THE SEA! TO ARMS! TO ARMS! WE ARE THE MESSEGENERS OF JUSTICE! TO ARMS! TO ARMS!"

A group of SJWs were marching towards the Krusty Krab, carrying swords, spears, hammers and axes.

"Fellow warriors, today we bring justice upon this establishment! For far too long, this place has robbed people of their livelihoods and good coin! This must be stopped today!" A SJW proclaimed.

"HEAR, HEAR!" The other SJWs roared.

"FORWARD MARCH!" The armored fish ran towards the restaurant, roaring with great vigor as they burst through the entrance, alarming the customers.

Two SJWs began smashing up the tables while two more began to wreak havoc in the kitchen, scattering everything onto the floor and crushing it.

"LEAVE NOTHING UNTOUCHED! THIS PLACE MUST BE DESTROYED!" The SJW captain roared as he grabbed the cash register and lifted it over his head.

"HOLD IT!"

Mr. Krabs kicked down his office door, armed with tommy guns and ammunition belts strapped across his body. "Put down that cash register if ya know what's good for ya!"

"ODDKINS BODKINS! WHAT MANNER OF BEAST ART THOU?"

"I'm a money-hungry beast that's gonna kick your sorry tin can!" Mr. Krabs then opened fire upon the SJWs, peppering those unfortunate enough that entered his line of vision with bullets.

"STAND YOUR GROUND, MEN! WE MUST CARRY THE DAY!"

A squad of SJWs wielding bows then launched their arrows at Mr. Krabs, who ducked behind a table and fired back upon them, taking them down.

"THIS STORE AIN'T NO PUSHOVER, YA HUNKS OF SCRAP! I FOUGHT IN THE WAR!"

"THOU BLACKGUARD!"

BANG!

The SJW captain fell to the ground, a hole between his eyes. His men, horrified, then ran out of the restaurant, screaming.

"Peh. Damned nutjobs ruining my restaurant. Now where's that Spongebob?"

"MURDERER!"

Mr. Krabs turned around and saw the yellow knight, brandishing his mace in anger.

"Oh, there you are, boy. You're late! Hurry up and clean this mess!"

"TYRANT! I WILL NOT DO THY BIDDING! THOU HAST TAKEN THE LIVES OF MY BROTHERS!" Spongebob roared in anger.

Mr. Krabs shook his head and walked up to Spongebob. Then he ripped off his helmet and smacked him across the face repeatedly.

"SNAP! OUT! OF! IT! BOY!"

Spongebob yelped as his vision bounced about back and forth; he could've sworn he saw some stars.

"DO! YOU! HEAR! ME!"

"Mr. Krabs…"

"DAMN! IT! BOY!"

"MR. KRABS! I'M ALRIGHT! STOP SLAPPING ME, PLEASE!"

Mr. Krabs then stopped and looked at the yellow sponge, who was trembling in fear.

"Hmm… Yep, you're back. Now get ta cleaning!"

Spongebob ran off like a whirlwind, cleaning and setting up the restaurant. Mr. Krabs sighed as he threw away his guns and his ammo. "Welp. All's well that ends well. Now, where's Mr. Squidward?"

"Ughhhh…" Squidward was still lying outside of his house, coughing up teeth and blood. He looked like he had seen better days. "Medic… Someone call a medic… Ugh…" He then proceeded to pass out.

End.


End file.
